At times in my life, I’ve been a reluctant disciple, at best. Sometimes it is difficult to discern God’s word, to tease out what He’s asking me to do. More often, however, it’s abundantly clear, and I just drag my feet in doing it. I love the story of Moses because, in a sense, it’s the story of us all.
Moses has lived in the wilderness for forty years, keeping watch over his father-in-law’s sheep. This guy was once a prince of Egypt, then a fugitive, and is now a sojourner, a nomad. At times during these forty years, I can imagine that Moses pondered God’s calling on his life. Maybe he wondered if this was all God had for him or whether there was anything more. Maybe this sense of openness to what might be possible is what causes him to turn aside and walk toward the burning bush in the middle of the desert, a bush that inexplicably begins to speak…
…or, maybe instead of curious and intrigued, Moses is simply terrified and wants nothing more than to walk away and go back to his comfortable life, the one he’s now known all these years. It sure seems that way, because as Moses stands before the burning bush, called by God to appear before Pharoah and lead God’s people out of Egypt, to say he’s kind of reluctant is like saying Jelly Roll seems to like body art.
Moses famously gives multiple excuses about why he should be the last one God considers for this job, intimating that his people won’t listen to him and that he’s a terrible public speaker. God patiently answers these reservations by providing for Moses’ weakness, not excusing or minimizing it. Eventually, however, Moses says what’s really on his mind and heart: “Oh, Lord, please send someone else!” (Ex. 3:13).
Moses’ biggest problem here is Moses. He paradoxically suffers from an inferiority complex and delusions of grandeur simultaneously, both stemming from an identity crisis. First, he believes he isn’t up to the task, that he is completely incapable, and lacks the courage to do what God has asked. At the same time, he thinks that God is actually asking him to lead the people out of Egypt in the first place, that somehow God has luckily happened upon the one guy on earth, here in the desert, who has the requisite skillset to pull off this difficult mission—that God needs Moses to get the job done.
Moses feels such inner conflict because he doesn’t understand who he is in God, or God’s provision for him in his calling. Moses is right, in a sense—he cannot accomplish the task that God is calling him to do. There’s no way he can convince Pharaoh to let Moses’ people leave Egypt. There’s no way he can lead a million plus people, those who have lived all their lives in bondage and are psychologically preconditioned to it, into freedom, and through a desert wilderness, no less. There’s no way. Impossible.
But here’s the thing: neither can anyone else. No one else on earth can do this either. God can’t “send someone else,” as Moses begs him to do, because no one else, including Moses, is up to it. God chooses Moses, not because he’s awesome, but probably because of the humility and meekness Moses is now showing by protesting his unworthiness. He’s actually making God’s case for him!
But there’s something else critical about Moses’ identity that he’s missing—that God is going with him. As Paul David Tripp says, God doesn’t send you unless He goes, too. And God brings God and all his power, presence and peace with Him. Which means that it really doesn’t matter who God sends. There really isn’t anything special about Moses versus someone else in getting the job done. Because ultimately here’s how the equation works: “God plus (insert any name, plug and play) equals victory.” That’s the formula. It works every time and has worked every time throughout history.
There’s something deeper still in the story of Moses and God’s call on his life. Because the Lord is always about more than the actual work he assigns. God also wanted to do a completely new work in Moses’ life, transforming him into someone else. I’ve written about this before, but when you look at 120-year-old Moses, he is almost completely different from 80-year-old Moses, the guy standing by the burning bush. While this Moses is a far cry from his younger days, he is still nervous and timid and still hasn’t completely learned to control his temper. By contrast, the older Moses is wiser, a great leader, more compassionate and empathetic, yet deeply intimate with his God. He is completely surrendered to the Father’s will and in a position where God can do great things through him.
What makes the older Moses the leader we remember? Obedience to God’s call and the hard work of fulfilling the mission God set before him. Moses became a leader in full in the process of doing the work. God cared as much about what He wanted to do through Moses as what He was doing in the people of Israel. Through his ultimate obedience and faithfulness, Moses became all God had for him.
If you belong to Jesus, if you are his child, his disciple, he’s going to call you to do something. He probably already has. Maybe not something as momentous as leading the Israelites out of Egypt (already been done), but something that will feel equally momentous and overwhelming to you. It may be anything from starting a new ministry or venture, agreeing to that mission trip you’ve been avoiding, stepping into that conflict and seeking forgiveness, or having that gospel conversation with that friend you’ve been praying for. For you, it will be hard. And scary.
You may have heard from God pretty clearly, and, like Moses, you may be dodging him now, hoping if you keep your head down and avoid eye contact, He’ll choose someone else. You may think you’re not worthy, or too dirty, or not whatever enough for the job.
And you’re right. You’re not able to do it. Not alone. But God didn’t intend you to. He chose you, not because of your unique skillset, but because he loves you. By working with and through you, you become closer and more intimate with him. When he sends you, he goes with you, and God plus you equals victory. It’s a forgone conclusion.
What’s more, God will break and remake you. It won’t be easy or painless, because we all know deep down that nothing worthwhile in life ever is. But, God: always shaping, forming, remaking, and molding us into something more than we ever imagined we could be by taking us through things we could never imagine for ourselves.
Be courageous and enthusiastic. The end result is deeper intimacy with God and the accomplishment of what he’s calling you to do, whatever that looks like. Stand up, put on your sandals, go with God, and head toward Egypt. Your life will never be the same.
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