Okay, let’s face it. Most of us are pretty screwed up when it comes to money. So screwed up, in fact, that many of you will stop reading this blog right…about…now….
Still reading? If so, let me just talk about how screwed up I am about money. If you happen to know anyone who may or may not be like me, then, you can empathize.
It’s so funny that, when I’m in accountability with someone, or in small groups, or with close friends, I’ll talk about things like my health, my marriage, my children, my spiritual walk, sex, and the most intimate details of my life. But, when someone asks about our money, well, now they’re meddling in my business. Why is that? What is it about money that becomes the forbidden topic, that is such a hang up? And, when it comes to giving, it’s even worse. I wear on my sleeve Jesus’ admonition for the “right hand not to know what the left hand is doing,” and I don’t talk to anyone about it, even my kids. I rationalize it by saying, “Well, I don’t want to be boastful,” as if the little amounts I actually give would be worthy of bragging about, or impress anyone.
The fact is, there’s a lot of idolatry in all our lives when it comes to money. It’s probably the one thing on which the largest number of us have a “death grip”. So, if I just described you (or a “close friend”), then please hang with me long enough to talk about the cure and, more importantly, how to help our kids not to be as messed up as we are (and, by “we,” I mean your close friend and me, not you, of course…).
The reason Jesus talks so much about money in the Bible is not because He’s thinking, “gosh, I only own everything in the universe and can make more by speaking it into existence. But, if only I had Bob’s 500 bucks, I could really make some things happen around here.” Rather, it’s because He knows how He created us. He made us to live free, open-handed lives, to receive His good gifts that He LOVES to give us, and to enjoy them, to praise God for them, and to turn around and share them with others. That’s what His image-bearers were made to do. It’s only once sin entered the picture that those open hands closed up, that we became concerned about what’s “mine” and “ours,” and stopped the sharing part. Like everything we do that deviates from the way God created us to be, it now makes us miserable. So, we hoard and give only in trickles and never really feel good about it, and the things we buy make us feel good only for a little while, and then the same void returns to our hearts.
But, here’s the thing: even though we became messed up, God never changed. He’s still the amazing, loving generous, abundantly giving God He has always been. His hand is still open. His well has never dried up. Think about it: we’ve been through the worst recession in decades. How many meals have you missed? Have you slept one night without a roof over your head (camping doesn’t count)? Been without clothing? How deprived have you really been, relative to the way the rest of the world lives? Wow. Isn’t our God amazing and good to us? He IS the Giver of all good things, Jehovah Jireh, the Great Provider.
But, we do suffer, because when we hoard and don’t live how He created us to live, with open-handed lives, it robs us of the joy that comes from pouring our lives out for others, as we were created to do. Like He does. So, here’s how I’m thinking we fix that, beginning now.
- Ask the Holy Spirit to give us the heart of God toward things and others. That’s an easy prayer to pray, because it’s something He really, really wants to do for us. He wants to heal us from our hang-ups with money, wants us to be generous, as He is generous, and wants us to have the joy that He has created us to have by living free from the slavery of stuff. He will change our hearts when we ask. I feel Him changing mine.
- Look at life with an abundance mentality, rather than one of scarcity. Rather than thinking of God as some miser, Ebenezer Scrooge who is parceling out nickels so you can buy crusts of bread, think of Him as He is: the abundantly generous, loving Father who runs down the road to you, forgives your repentant heart, and kills the precious, fatted calf to celebrate you and your return. He wants to give you everything. This isn’t some “prosperity gospel, give and He’ll give you more money“ nonsense. But, He’ll change your heart so that you’ll be joyful with what you give and grateful and content with the abundant life that He’s given you.
- Talk about your giving with your kids. As God changes your life and your heart, talk about that change with your kids. Talk about the ways that you’ve messed up about money. Talk about how God is changing you to look at life and others and your stuff differently. Ask them how much and to whom you should give; get their input. Let giving be a family affair. When they want to give themselves, don’t say, “Isn’t that cute, you hang onto your money, buddy.” Instead, praise that generous instinct, encourage it, and help them learn to give wisely, generously, and well.
Wouldn’t it be amazing if our kids didn’t share our hang-ups with money, but saw everything they had as a gracious gift of God, to be used and enjoyed, not hoarded or squandered, and to be shared freely with others? If theirs was the generation where our families became known for their godliness AND generosity, and that God was made much of through that? Like everything else, it can start with you. “Teaching Jesus” is “Teaching Generous.”
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